WTF, universe?

Monday morning, I got an email from one of my dearest friends in the whole wide world, who lives halfway around the world from us so we don't see him and his wife (whom we also adore) nearly enough. They had called around New Year's to tell us she was brand-new pregnant, and we were thrilled for them. Well, apparently she started bleeding over the weekend and ultrasound showed no heartbeat. Doctor said baby had probably stopped growing around 9 weeks, which was 2 weeks ago. She had a D&C Monday.

Tonight, I got an email from another good friend. Her husband was laid off around the same time I was, and a week later she found out she was pregnant. They were terrified given the financial situation, but also thrilled (they'd been trying for almost a year). You know where this is going, right? She just told me they lost the baby. At 18 weeks. I don't know the details yet, but seriously, how unbelievable fucking unfair can life get?

Here

My mother-in-law died last week. A little before midnight on Superbowl Sunday, to be exact. The last week or so of her life was pretty horrible, so it was a relief and a blessing in the end. We had the memorial service last week and now we're back home and just trying to process what happened.

January was just the worst month, stressful and painful and awful. My husband was traveling back and forth between home and his parents, I was juggling freelance work (and jumping through all the stupid hoops to collect unemployment) and single parenthood and Bat Girl had one illness after another--stomach bug, cold, sinus infection, etc. Thank god it's over.

I've been interviewing for full-time jobs but haven't heard back either way for anything yet. It's not exactly the best time to be looking for a job--everyone's got hiring freezes, or they think they have a position open and then their funding gets yanked, or the department is eliminated, etc. I've been busy with freelance/consulting work but thanks to slow as molasses accounting departments haven't really been paid for any of it yet. Luckily we have savings and my husband was able to work before Christmas a little (before the worst of the crisis with his mom hit) to help out.

Bat Girl got into preschool. But we probably won't send her this year. We have until this Friday to sign the contract and put down a deposit, and it is just impossible for us to decide by Friday with even 70% accuracy whether, by September, she'll be ready, we'll be ready, we'll have the money, we'll all be living in a Mad Max post-apocalyptic society, or what.

On the bright side, Bat Girl turned two on Thursday. We were still in the city where my husband grew up (memorial service was Wednesday), so she ended up having two cakes with candles--one at our friends' house where we were staying Thursday, and then cupcakes at home this weekend. When asked, she will proudly tell you that she is "Twoyearsold!" I'll write a little update about how she's doing and what she's like soon, I promise.

I'm still checking in on all your blogs (though Pru, if you don't get your feed fixed soon I may have to switch to Google Reader JUST to keep up with you), just not commenting--haven't had the energy. But I am thinking of you all. And thank you for the comments and emails and all the support.