We're still on for Tuesday, and at my last OB appointment on Wednesday, my doctor was pretty confident that I'd make it until then. I've been having tons of contractions, as is my tendency--long and hard ones too--but they're still erratic and the baby is still high and my cervix still long, though I'm fingertip dilated. I had thought I would work all the way up until the end, but the week before last I threw up my hands and just couldn't do the commute anymore (and frankly, couldn't muster up the energy to give a shit about work anymore), so I started my maternity leave a week early and was glad to be hiding out in the air conditioning during last week's heat wave instead of dragging myself on the subway.
And it turned out I needed the week to do a bunch of nesting. So now the crib is made up with cute new sheets, onesies are folded in the dresser, stash of baby carriers is organized, bottles are washed and formula stocked (and pump parts sterilized and nursing pillow covers washed too, I've got all my bases covered), diapers and wipes all set. I've even packed my hospital bag and stocked up on oatmeal. I did NOT realize my ambition to finally finish Bat Girl's baby book (really just a photo album of her first year; I'm so not a baby book person) before this baby is born, but oh well.
I feel fairly crappy physically but am doing OK mentally, other than being rather more irritable than usual. I'm ready to meet this baby and become a family of four, though I tried to spend this last weekend really concentrating on Bat Girl and enjoying our time together, hard as it was yesterday when she was being a real asshole, frankly. When she's not being an asshole I'm just constantly marveling at what an amazing kid she is, and I hope we're half as lucky with Baby Brother.
I am feeling a sort of vague freeform dread about the c-section. You'd think that I'd be less scared of it knowing exactly what to expect, but it's just the opposite. I keep going to these terrifying worst-case scenarios in my head, and I have to remind myself that the odds of any of those things happening are incredibly low, and that I'm going to be getting top-notch medical care in one of the best hospitals in the world.
Wish me luck. I can't promise I'll post right after the delivery but you will hear from me on the other side.