Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Trying so hard

to have a good attitude, but jeez, it's like primary infertility all over again with the world rubbing other people's fertility in my face.

I saw the director of Bat Girl's school last week and found out one reason why BG may be obsessed with having a baby sister: Four, yes four, of her classmates are actually getting baby siblings this spring. One I had known about already; one I found out about when the mom showed up at BG's birthday party hugely pregnant; the other two I had no idea. (This is what happens when you're a working mom and never see any of the other mothers and drop-off or pick-up.)

Then, not 10 minutes ago, one of my work colleagues announced she's expecting her second. Her first is 2--hey, just about the age BG was when we started trying for number two! My coworker is also nearly exactly (like within a month) the same age as me, which just adds insult to injury--somehow it would be easier to deal with if she were a lot younger or a lot older.

Then there's my friend whose second pregnancy vibes I was hoping would rub off on me. I begged off a lunch date this past weekend, knowing that I wouldn't be able to deal, and spent the day outside with BG instead, watching her run around enjoying the springlike weather. We ran into one of the I-had-no-idea moms and her newborn.

As usual, the babies of fellow infertiles do not rub me the wrong way, at all. In fact, they delight me--I couldn't be happier, truly. And to be fair, for all I know, all of those other babies might have been hard fought for too. But I'm still not particularly happy hearing about them.

Meanwhile, yesterday I had to go in to my clinic for a blood draw--even though I swore up and down to the nurses that I really, truly do not ovulate on my own, they would not call in a Provera prescription unless I had bloodwork first to prove it. The nurse who called me with the results could have been a little more tactful: "So, we took some blood this morning to see where you are in your cycle, and it looks like there's really nothing going on at all," she said cheerily. "We'll definitely want to bring on a bleed!" That's me, a barren tundra inside! Yep!

(Yes, I'm exaggerating. I know I got pregnant once, I should be able to do it again. Just wallowing a bit here.)

Anyway, I'll be on Provera for 7 days and then we'll start the whole party over again. Whee!

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

That really sucks. I'm sorry.

10:46 AM  
Blogger Antrop√≥loga said...

I wish you very much luck.

11:01 AM  
Blogger Jody said...

OMG that nurse is working in the wrong office.

1:23 PM  
Blogger May said...

The best part of preschool drop off is when they post a SIGN on the door saying "Kayden is a BIG BROTHER!!!! Jaden Grayson Johnson born yesterday!!!! 6 pounds 12 ounces!!!!! Like, OHMYGOD!!!!!"

Sorry, do I sound bitter? Snarl.

3:09 PM  

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