Thursday, March 03, 2011

Salt in the wound

Lately Bat Girl has been obsessed with having a sister and a brother. (That's AND, not OR.) Her brother is apparently a grown-up who lives in his own house and has lots of cool toys, which she describes to us at great length. Her sister is closer in age--sometimes she is "a big kid," sometimes she is 3 (did I mention that BG turned 4 last month??? bad mommy), and sometimes she is a baby.

I don't know if BG has picked up on the baby-wanting vibes around here, but in the last month or so she has turned up the volume on the baby sister talk, sometimes even going so far as to tell me that I have a baby sister growing in my belly. Which, as you can imagine, was fun to deal with while going through an ultimately doomed IUI cycle. We've had to (a) keep reminding her that Mommy doesn't have a baby in her belly, and (b) point out that if Mommy had a baby, it could be a sister OR a brother, and boy is she not happy with the idea of a baby brother. But if she asks, we do say that yes, we would like to have a baby sister (OR BROTHER) someday, and maybe we'll be lucky enough to have one.

Well, apparently she's pretty set on this baby business. Because yesterday, one of the moms at BG's preschool stopped my husband to ask about the baby sister that BG has been telling EVERYONE she's going to get soon. And today BG's teacher asked my husband if it was true I was pregnant.

It's a good thing I've had to go in to work early all week and so haven't been able to do school drop-off. Because I really, really, really would not have been able to handle those questions.

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Anonymous Jacquie | After Words said...

Oh God. That is spectacularly...awful. I'm so sorry.

My 3 yo is going through a stage where she has imaginary friends and, now, imaginary relatives--a brother, a sister, and a grandmother. And she talks about them as if they're real. So real that other people talk to me about them as if they're real. So real she cried at bedtime about missing her grandmother.

But oy. I really do feel for you and hope, independent of your reproductive status, this stage ends soon.

9:33 PM  
Blogger May said...

Oh, yuck. I'm sorry.

1:51 AM  
Blogger Antrop√≥loga said...

Oh you poor thing. My kid has had an imaginary brother for over a year now that has raised lots of questions for acquaintances when she mentions him, and then she got obsessed with pregnancy when I got pregnant without my mentioning it. I feel a bit more secure about my situation now, but I still kind of cringe when she tells everybody about the baby in my tummy. Life is so uncertain.

But to be going through that AND not being successful in conceiving, and having it be such a fraught issue and situation, too. How miserable, I am so sorry.

Maybe buy her a really fancy train set and play Thomas all the time and hope she switches interests?

3:58 AM  
Blogger Jody said...

Yuck a lot.

If I remember correctly, that's a classic impulse for older threes and fours. Talk about heartache for parents with secondary infertility.

Keep avoiding drop-offs as long as possible, that's my assvice.

4:03 AM  

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