Friday, February 25, 2011

Nope

I don't know if it's because of the hormones, or because my unmedicated cycles are really not normal at all, but I always find that the first couple days of a period following a failed cycle are much rougher than usual. Bad cramps, aching back, weepiness--I don't get those symptoms on a non-IUI cycle.

See what I did there? That's what you might call burying the lead. Yeah, I got my period today. I took another hpt yesterday morning, 11dpiui, and naturally it was negative. Some instinct told me to put in a pantyliner before I left the house, and sure enough, as I was walking across town I started feeling that telltale ache in my abdomen, and the spotting started soon after.

Emotionally, I don't mind telling you I've been a wreck. I had an orthodontist appointment yesterday morning, of all things, and I seriously started crying right there in the chair when the doctor was over an hour behind schedule. I had to go pick up BG soon, and all I wanted was to go buy myself a goddamn donut to try to drown my sorrows in empty carbs, and I wasn't even going to have time to do that. Yes. I was crying because I couldn't have a donut. Then I started sobbing in earnest as I was walking back to the subway. I made it through the rest of the day, then after I put BG to bed, I cried again to my husband as we talked about what to do next. Then I baked a cake and ate...well, let's just say a lot of it.

I don't know why it keeps getting harder and harder. You'd think I'd be used to it by now.

We're going to try one more IUI. If that doesn't work, we're going to revisit the discussion about IVF.

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8 Comments:

Blogger DD said...

Well, that's just the shits, girl. And you have more willpower than I. It'd be a dozen donuts, the entire cake, and at least a bottle of wine just to wash the crumbs back.

10:33 PM  
Blogger May said...

Oh, crap. I had a good feeling about this one. Which goes to show you I know nothing.

Sending you a mental doughnut.

11:25 PM  
Blogger Antrop√≥loga said...

I'm so sorry. That blows.

4:06 AM  
Anonymous Jillian said...

So sorry. That sucks so much.

9:19 AM  
Anonymous Jacquie | After Words said...

I'm so sorry.

10:59 PM  
Blogger OneTiredEma said...

oh suck :(
so sorry.
i'd go for donuts too.

9:42 AM  
Blogger Jody said...

Damnit. I'm so sorry. I hope you can get lots of donuts for the rest of the week, and beyond.

1:06 PM  
Blogger K77 said...

I'm so sorry.

3:16 AM  

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