10dpiui

I took a test this morning. It was negative.

I wasn't surprised. It's still too early, honestly. My post-trigger symptoms have all waned in the last few days--less bloating, less cramping, boobs gone from Ridiculous Nipples (TM) down to normal premenstrual soreness--and having been pregnant before, and knowing how my body responds to hormones, I know that if I'd had enough hCG in my system to get a positive hpt, I would likely have SOME kind of symptoms.

Knowing the test would most likely come out negative didn't make it any less disappointing, though. It didn't prevent me from (once I decided, last night, that I'd test in the morning just to have something to think about) having multiple dreams about POAS (with varying results). It didn't prevent me from sitting in the bathroom watching the control line come up, staring at the white space next to it hoping for another line to appear; even doing that crazy thing we do where we hold it up to the light and tilt it at various angles, trying to decide if there's actually the ghost of another line there, even if just an evap line, or if we're just imagining things, willing it into being through sheer force of insanity.

So I'll continue parsing my symptoms, checking my boobs (is that some soreness in my armpit?), gauging the tightness of my waistband. And I guess I'll keep testing until the hope runs out.