Not a repeat
If we were truly recapturing the magic of the one mythical cycle that worked, I would now be coasting after 5 days of stims, preparing for trigger with a couple of nice fat follicles. Alas, my ovaries did not get the memo about repeating their five-years-ago performance. This morning, CD10, after a rather painful Pap smear (I was overdue for one so they threw it in; it is clear, however, that this is not a fertility clinic's area of expertise), I was wanded by the doctor on duty (not mine), who said that I had "lots of eggs" growing, but nothing in the lead. He measured a couple of them but didn't share the numbers with me. Based on my E2 level (again, no idea...), I'm to do 112 IU tonight, then drop down to 75 IU tomorrow, and come back in for monitoring on Friday.
So. It is what it is. I'm disappointed, but it's hardly surprising that (a) my finicky ovaries would respond totally differently to the same protocol on any given month; and (b) my finicky 37-year-old ovaries would not be as responsive as my 32-year-old ovaries were. I'm hoping we can still pull out maybe a Friday trigger and Sunday IUI, because I have such a hairy week at work next week that the logistics of an IUI next week are reeeeeeeaaaaaally going to stress me out.
Meanwhile, my ovaries are definitely feeling tender, and my boobs are actually kind of sore too, which I don't remember happening on previous cycles (at least not until after trigger). The injections have been hard. The mechanics of them, fine, I remember to do everything properly, I'm psychologically up to them, all that. But actually pushing the needle into my flesh, for some reason, is really difficult this cycle. It hurts, even though I try to numb up with ice. My skin seems to push back on the needle, so I have to push hard to get it in, and when I pull the needle out my flesh resists giving it up, so I feel a pinch and a pull on my skin as I drag the needle out. Oof. Am I just getting old? Too sensitive?
Speaking of sensitive...way back when I was trying for #1, I got sucker-punched by a pregnancy announcement from my friend R. It was one of many, many pregnancy announcements I was dealing with back then, but for some reason this one hit me particularly hard. (I had to excuse myself from dinner and go cry in the bathroom.) This afternoon, what should I get in my inbox but...a pregnancy announcement from R! She's due in July with #2! Isn't that awesome?!?!?!?
Yeah. I was glad it was over email so I could be cranky about it in the privacy of my office. Perhaps, though, some good mojo will come of it. Because 3.5 months after she gave birth to her baby #1, I had my baby #1 too. Maybe I'll get lucky and have a repeat performance after all.
So. It is what it is. I'm disappointed, but it's hardly surprising that (a) my finicky ovaries would respond totally differently to the same protocol on any given month; and (b) my finicky 37-year-old ovaries would not be as responsive as my 32-year-old ovaries were. I'm hoping we can still pull out maybe a Friday trigger and Sunday IUI, because I have such a hairy week at work next week that the logistics of an IUI next week are reeeeeeeaaaaaally going to stress me out.
Meanwhile, my ovaries are definitely feeling tender, and my boobs are actually kind of sore too, which I don't remember happening on previous cycles (at least not until after trigger). The injections have been hard. The mechanics of them, fine, I remember to do everything properly, I'm psychologically up to them, all that. But actually pushing the needle into my flesh, for some reason, is really difficult this cycle. It hurts, even though I try to numb up with ice. My skin seems to push back on the needle, so I have to push hard to get it in, and when I pull the needle out my flesh resists giving it up, so I feel a pinch and a pull on my skin as I drag the needle out. Oof. Am I just getting old? Too sensitive?
Speaking of sensitive...way back when I was trying for #1, I got sucker-punched by a pregnancy announcement from my friend R. It was one of many, many pregnancy announcements I was dealing with back then, but for some reason this one hit me particularly hard. (I had to excuse myself from dinner and go cry in the bathroom.) This afternoon, what should I get in my inbox but...a pregnancy announcement from R! She's due in July with #2! Isn't that awesome?!?!?!?
Yeah. I was glad it was over email so I could be cranky about it in the privacy of my office. Perhaps, though, some good mojo will come of it. Because 3.5 months after she gave birth to her baby #1, I had my baby #1 too. Maybe I'll get lucky and have a repeat performance after all.
Labels: infertility, project 2.0
posted by electriclady at 5:43 PM
4 Comments:
You know, I never understood the whole icing prior to injections. That numbs up the proximity tissue but it may be why you feel pulling and tugging because it also tightens the muscle. For shits and giggles, try a warm compress first and then hit it with a cold AFTER the injection.
And damn! I can't believe you're that much younger than me? Why do I keep thinking I'm still 37?
Is it possible that they switched the gauge of needle? I had that happen a couple of times and could definitely feel the difference.
37 sounds so young from the other side of 40. Sigh. (I know: SO OBNOXIOUS.)
Yeah, let's go with the good vibes from surprise pregnancy announcement. Here's hoping this is the new magic cycle.
(I've got no idea what's up with the needles, but I never did ice before hand, fwiw.)
EWWW on the needles, poor thing. But I am thinking her announcement is good news for you! Well, let's hope, anyway!
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