a) You are sick.
b) Your husband/partner is sick.
c) Your child is sick.
d) Your child is cutting a tooth.
e) No, wait, your child is cutting two teeth.
f) Did I say two teeth? I meant three teeth.
g) Holy fuck, she's cutting four teeth at once?
If you correctly answered (h) all of the above, congratulations! You win a lifetime supply of Theraflu and a hamper full of T-shirts with snot encrustations on the shoulders.
My parents were in town and I'd hoped to go out to brunch for Bat Girl's birthday plus get some professional photos taken of all of us (including with Bat Girl in her dol hanbok, the traditional Korean dress for her first birthday), but instead we laid around our apartment moaning (me) and drooling (BG) and leaking snot (all of us) while my mom made soup. I guess it could have been worse.
I'm at work now and so congested and miserable that I'm getting nothing done. But the alternative is going home and getting another layer of baby snot laid down on me, and right now sitting in my cubicle staring blankly seems more restful.