Nothing much to report
I'm officially 14w2d today. After that one day of scare spotting last Thursday, I have been miraculously spot-free for the past 4.5 days (which statement should pretty well jinx me now). It has been two weeks and one day since my last ultrasound--the longest I've gone without US this whole pregnancy--and will be another two weeks until my next one. Absent any signs to the contrary, I assume I'm still pregnant and everything is going OK.
I decided not to get a doppler after all. No real rationale to the decision--just the realization that while hearing the heartbeat would probably make me feel a LOT better, it wouldn't actually change the outcome of anything. The (perhaps temporary, who knows?) cessation of spotting has made me feel more comfortable with the decision, at least for now. I figure I just need to hold out until my 16 week appointment and ultrasound, and then before my next US I ought to start feeling the baby move. However, I can't swear that in the next two weeks, I won't have another freakout and order a Baby Beat overnighted to me.
I've been invited to a baby shower, for my friend R. I guess I am just a petty person, because the invite gave me the same pang that her belly shots did. I'm really not sure if I can do it. It's not that I don't want to celebrate and be happy for her--I'm just not sure if I can stand being in a roomful of normals talking about pregnancy for that long. I might make up some excuse and skip it, I haven't decided yet.
I went out this weekend and bought that B@by B@rg@ins book. Holy crap, is that a terrifying tome. But it does allow me to pretend that I'm going to have a real live baby at the end of this. And also to shift my obsessing from "Is it still alive?" to what stroller we might want to purchase (in Big City, a decision that apparently makes a major statement about who you are as a human being), or where the hell we're going to put all the crap that is currently in what eventually, maybe, probably, will be the baby's room.