Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.
I don't know what to do. Obviously I will attempt not to budge from my chair for the rest of the day (except to get lunch, and go to the bathroom, and attend a meeting...shit), but then what? I have a job that technically could be done from home, but no one at work knows I am pregnant and I have this superstition about telling them before I hit 12 weeks and see/hear the baby one more time (Monday). But of course I don't want to do anything to jeopardize this pregnancy and NOT make it to 12 weeks. Add to that the fact that the temperature is supposed to reach triple digits tomorrow and Wednesday. I will probably take a cab to and from work those days, which might help a little...
I feel like crying. I actually did break down and cry yesterday, on the phone with my mom. I just see all my friends, who got pregnant so easily and had easy pregnancies where they could exercise and eat without puking and stand up for more tahn five minutes without bleeding all over the place and walk down the street without passing out--hell, one friend of mine actually traveled around the world for three weeks in her second trimester--and it feels so damn unfair. (And compared to other IF chicks, I actually have it EASY.)
My doctor told me on Friday that I should call again if I have very heavy bleeding, comparable to the heaviest day of my period, for more than an hour. I know that the spotting I'm having now is probably nothing, that everything may very well be fine. But I am just so scared and I don't know what to do.
I have to stop now before I start crying at my desk.