28 weeks

I used to get so annoyed when IF bloggers would get pregnant and then drop off the face of the planet. And here I am doing the same thing. The truth is, this whole "normal pregnancy" thing is almost a little boring even to me, so I'm having a hard time finding anything interesting to say about it.

But to bring you all up to speed...at the end of March I had another ultrasound to double check the baby's spine (they couldn't get a good view of it at the anatomy scan), and all looked good. Growth was on track and the tech double checked the sex for me (definitely a boy). Bonus cootercam u/s to check cervical length, which was something like 4.9 cm, so still looking great. I got a mild warning about weight gain (I had gained 6 lbs instead of the recommended 4 in 4 weeks) but everything looked good.

With the confirmation that this baby is, indeed, a boy (and I have the picture to prove it), I've been sorting through and giving away all of Bat Girl's girly clothes from the last 5 years. It's been hard--I now understand why my mom still has some of my Florence Eisemann dresses from the '70s tucked away in the attic. Even a little flimsy cheap Old Navy outfit brings back memories of BG wearing it, and I have to admit that I still cling to a vision of that second little girl that I thought I would have. Honestly, if I could guarantee another girl I would almost go for a third child--but I can say that another kid is 99% not going to happen for us, especially given our ages and financial situation AND the fact that I never want to go through fertility treatment again.

Anyway, luckily we have several little girls in our lives ranging in age from 6 weeks to 4 years old, so I know all the hand-me-downs are going to people who appreciate them. And we're getting boatloads of boy hand-me-downs in return, sweet little onesies with sailboats and dinosaurs on them and striped rompers that almost make up for the lack of little flowered dresses.

A week and a half ago (27 weeks) I had my 1-hour glucose test, which I passed, but it was discovered that I'm mildly anemic, so I'm taking iron supplements and eating hamburgers. That was also my first-ever OB appointment with NO ultrasound whatsoever--so bizarre! Never fear, next week I'm getting another scan to check growth (with the unicornuate uterus, we need to make sure there's no IUGR or other growth issues) and one more cervical measurement.

I'm firmly convinced that Baby Brother (as we've been calling him; turns out we are having a lot of trouble coming up with a boy's name) is and has consistently been breech, based on the movement I've been feeling. But my OB says it's still too early to tell, and she won't make the official call as to whether a repeat c-section is required until 33 or 34 weeks.

I'm torn about whether or not I actually want to attempt a VBAC, if that ends up being an option. The planner in me likes the idea of just having it all scheduled. And although the recovery from a vaginal birth is probably a lot easier, a c-section is a known quantity for me at this point. I'm not particularly wedded to the idea of having a "natural" birth experience--I made my peace with that long ago and I don't feel like I've missed out on something magical and important by not having had a vaginal birth.

And I don't want to try a VBAC and then end up with a c-section anyway, which is of course a significant possibility. If I'm really truly honest, deep down, I also don't want to fail at this. I've had enough breeding-related failures already. I feel vaguely guilty about not wanting a VBAC, or being chicken, or whatever this is. But I bet I'll get over it.

Pros and cons

Negatives to NOT being on bedrest while pregnant:
• Taking the subway with the masses every day to and from work, and sometimes even (gasp!) having to stand.
• Spending money on new maternity clothes, despite the fact that this is my second and most likely final pregnancy. I was so smug last time around about how I "didn't get very big" and "barely bought any maternity clothes." Well, it turns out that when you actually leave the house and interact with other human beings every day instead of lying on the couch in yoga pants and a hoodie, you do need to purchase tops that cover your belly so you can look professional (on weekdays) or at least presentable (on weekends).

Positives to not being on bedrest:
• Pretty much everything else.

It's hard to believe that I'm almost 21 weeks pregnant. At this point with Bat Girl, I was already on severe activity restrictions and just a couple weeks away from being grounded for good. I was seeing my OB every 2 weeks, getting cervical measurements every time, and I just looked back at my entries from October 2006 and saw she started doing fetal fibronectin swabs around this time too. I was counting contractions every hour of every day.

Now, I'm just going about my days. I work, I take care of BG, I run errands. I walk places. I take stairs, unless I'm feeling out of breath. I feel the baby move every day. Sometimes I notice a contraction--they happen pretty much every day--but often they barely even register. I've even attempted to have sex with my husband, though the logistics of pregnant sex have proved very confounding. (We weren't allowed last time around, so this is all new.)

It is so new, so miraculous to me, this interacting with the world while gestating another human being. I can go to Target and the farmer's market! I can walk up hills and go out to dinner! When someone says, "Do you want to sit?" I sometimes say, "No, that's okay, I'm fine standing"! (Not always; come on, I'm lazy and sitting is nice.) I'm planning an IKEA trip to get a new bed and dresser for Bat Girl, and decided that the best time for us to make the trip and do all the furniture shuffling would be early June. June! Less than 2 months before my due date!

Eventually I'll get tired of writing these posts about how great it is to be normal, but that sure hasn't happened yet.

It's a...

Boy! Just as I thought.

Anatomy scan went well yesterday. Everything looked completely normal and on track for 18w2d. Baby is currently breech, placenta is anterior. They weren't able to fully visualize all of the spine (baby was lying on his back) so when I have my next appointment in a month I'll have another scan (yay! says u/s-addicted me) to check it out. My doc also had my blood drawn for an AFP test just to be on the safe side and if there's anything concerning about those results they'll have me back for a scan sooner.

I also got the cootercam for a cervix check. Cervix measured a whopping 5.37 cm, so doc is pretty unconcerned about preterm labor at this point, though I will get another cervix check at the next appointment. They even had me bear down during the scan to see if there was any change in my cervix, and everything held firm, so all looks good.

I'm a little freaked out by the prospect of having a boy, to be honest, even though I kind of knew it all along. I know girls! I love girls! Boys have penises and totally unfun clothes! But I know I'll get to know and love my son just like I did my daughter.

Now the challenge: to come up with a boy's name. Bat Girl is voting to name the baby Poopiehead or Peepeehead (yes, we are at the delightful potty humor stage), but I don't think that's going to work.

17 weeks

Actually, 16w6d, but close enough.

The problem with having a relatively uneventful pregnancy so far is that it leaves me with little to blog about. I did start having contractions right around 14 weeks, the same time I started when I was pregnant with Bat Girl, but they've been much less intense and much less frequent than in my first pregnancy--one every few hours, as opposed to a few every hour.

I started leaking colostrum around the same time, which is much earlier than I started with Bat Girl (I think I noticed it late in the third trimester last time). I doubt this says anything about my ability to breastfeed this time around--as I now know, I just have really fast letdown and leaky boobs--but it's nice to know that the girls kind of remember what they're doing.

Oh, and there were the sharp stabbing pains in my abdomen a few days ago. I got all panicked and called my doctor and readied myself to have to go in for an ultrasound. She diagnosed me over the phone with...constipation. Yeah.

So, again, normal. A week from Monday is the big anatomy scan. We hope to find out the sex then, especially because it seems like being all NORMAL and all might mean I don't get very many more ultrasounds this pregnancy. Also, Bat Girl's baby hand-me-downs are overwhelmingly pink and girly and I am not quite modern enough to put my baby boy in a pink frilly dress. (Onesies and receiving blankets, sure, but I do draw the line at a certain point.)

*****

The bigger news around here is that last week Bat Girl turned 5. My baby is FIVE. I guess it really deserved a post of its own but I can barely muster up the energy to post once a month so this is what happens.

She is overflowing with imagination, creating elaborate lives for her hordes of imaginary siblings and friends, "writing" a new picture book practically every day (currently dragons, T.rex, princesses, and her planned future farm figure heavily in these stories, not necessarily all at once). She intends to marry one of the boys in her pre-K class and together have a farm where she will care for the animals and he will drive the tractor. She puts together insanely colorful outfits, generally featuring a patterned shirt, patterned skirt, and patterned leggings, ideally paired with mismatched patterned socks. She is cautious but rarely shy, making new friends on the playground or at the farmer's market in a heartbeat.

She complained to me the other day about how a friend of hers wanted to play with her all the time and kept following her around all day at school. I have to tell you, I am so not equipped to assist my child through the problems of being popular.

She takes violin lessons and just started piano (because we're THOSE parents and also insane, yes, I know). She loves to sing, and she loves making up plays and performing them. Sometimes she ropes us into one of her plays or some of her imaginative play; thank goodness she's going to get a sibling soon because I really can't stand playing the stupid prince in one of her fairy tale reenactments. She never met a stick she didn't want to bring home. She can write all her letters and is starting to read. "Pizza" is one of her sight words.

We complain to each other sometimes about her stubbornness or her distractibility but the truth is that she's an incredibly easygoing, responsible, charming kid. We got super lucky with this one.

Lately every morning when my alarm goes off she's been coming into our bedroom and crawling into bed on my side for a snuggle. I should get my ass up and get our day started but the truth is those 15 minutes are the best part of my day, and I'd rather be late for work than give them up. I hope there's always room for her to come in and snuggle, even when my belly gets huge and later when she gets even huger.

Still boring

The most exciting thing that happened at my OB appointment today (13w5d) is that the bathroom light, apparently on a timer of some sort, shut off just as I started, uh, providing my urine sample. Trying to catch the stream with one hand while frantically groping for the light switch with my other hand provided a nice little adrenaline jolt for the day.

Otherwise, the appointment was totally unremarkable in every way. The doctor (guess I have to come up with a nickname for her, I'll think about it) went over my NT results in a little more detail, and rattled off the long list of things they'd tested me for at my last appointment that were all clear--no syphilis, whoo! Then she whipped out the doppler and, after some searching, found the heartbeat. And yes, this was another fully clothed appointment. Because absolutely nothing has happened in the past month that would warrant me taking my pants off.

I'm finding all this normality confusing but perfectly delightful.

Quick hits

• Thanks for the thoughts on FB pregnancy announcements. Not sure yet how I'll do it but since I'll likely wait until I've had a chance to tell a bunch more people in person, I have a month or so to ponder. I realized that I never had to deal with this before because the last time I was pregnant THERE WAS NO FACEBOOK.

• First trimester screening results came back (am a little miffed that I had to finally call my doctor's office 10 days later and bug them to get the results, but that's another story). All normal, risk level calculated at 1/3321. Exhale.

• Maternity sweatpants. Is there a greater invention? I don't think so.

Coming out

Luckily the past couple of weeks have been pretty busy at work (deadlines) and at home (planning BG's FIFTH birthday party, OMG), so I've had things to take my mind off the fact that it's been a whole week since my NT scan. Not that I'm concerned about the results (which I still haven't gotten called about, BTW)--no, I'm worried about the fact that it's been a whole week since that ultrasound and I've got another week and a half until my next OB appointment. That's TWO AND A HALF WEEKS without a Live Baby Check, people. This may be the longest I've gone without an ultrasound, like, ever.

I was tempted to rent a Doppler--I didn't last time around because I was at the OB's office practically every week, but if I'm going to be all boring and normal this time it might be nice to have some reassurance in these long gaps between appointments before I can actually feel the baby move. But I discovered those things are surprisingly expensive ($40-$50 a month?) and I can't really justify the expense. That's like a month of formula, yo.

So while I bide my time, a question for you all: Is there a way to announce a pregnancy on Facebook that is NOT awful?

I know that ideally, you email or call everyone important personally, and obviously close friends and relatives either will get or have already gotten their own heads-up. But the reality is that there are people in my life who I'd like to share the news with but don't quite merit their own announcement, and Facebook is the logical way to make that happen. Besides, I do generally share photos of BG on FB, and would do so for a new baby too, and to me the only thing that delivers a worse sucker-punch than the unexpected FB pregnancy announcement is the unexpected birth announcement.

So how do you do it without being an asshole? Obviously, NOT like my crunchy home-birthing friend who capped off the announcement of her third pregnancy with the line, "12 weeks and our first midwife appointment tomorrow--can't wait to hear that heartbeat for the first time!" Like, OMG, you announce your pregnancy to everyone you know before you've had a single prenatal appointment? BEFORE YOU HAVE EVEN A SHRED OF CONFIRMATION FROM A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL THAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY PREGNANT?

I tend to think that something simple, with a minimum of gushing and NO belly pictures, is best. Maybe even with a nod (explicit or implied) to what it took to get there. I'm not sure exactly how this paragon of a post would be worded.

I'm fussing over this because, well, to occupy myself for one, but also because I know I have (non-blog) FB friends who are dealing with or have dealt with IF. I have two very close friends, one of whom went through an IVF cycle (her umpteenth, after having a miscarriage last year and losing her first baby a few days after birth the year before) a month or two before I did, and the other had an FET (again, after many, many cycles) a few weeks after I got my positive. Both ended in chemical pregnancies. I told both of them about my pregnancy right away, so they wouldn't be shocked by the news, but I know it will still hurt for them to see the news out in public. I have another FB friend, a work colleague whom I'm not super close with (not close enough to email her personally with the news), who I'm 99% sure did an IVF cycle last fall--we were talking about some work scheduling and she had two "procedures" five days apart, bed rest after the second one, and has made frequent references to her acupuncturist. And another, a single-mom-by-choice who spent a long, heartbreaking time trying, unsuccessfully, to conceive a second child.

I don't want to hurt these people, and the countless others who may be struggling in silence. But I don't want to deprive myself of some well-deserved joy and celebration, either.

Have you ever seen a FB pregnancy announcement that was handled well? What made it not painful and/or not-assholish?