Graduation day

As of Monday (two days ago), I am officially no longer an infertility patient. My "graduation day" was pretty anticlimactic. I got the usual bloodwork and ultrasound Monday morning. Dr. SF printed out yet another blobby picture for me and let me hear the heartbeat (135 or so, down from 176 last week but I think that's normal), then told me that if my bloodwork looked good I could stop the progesterone and didn't have to come back anymore.

He asked me if I was "done," meaning done with babies, and I said, "I am SO done. And I hope you won't be offended if I say that as much as I appreciate everything, I hope I never see you again." He laughed and said, "It's sort of like sending kids off to college--there's always some sadness but you know it's time for them to move on." He expressed pleasure again at how I managed to get pregnant with a single embryo transfer at my age, and told me I make "great" embryos.

I unloaded all my sharps containers and handed the nurse a massive amount of unused drugs that hopefully some other patient can use. I picked up a copy of my records and paid my $1,400 account balance. And then I walked out.

I guess there are some people who might feel sentimental at a time like this, given all that I've gone through at this clinic over the last five and a half years. Having spent far too many early mornings in that waiting room over the last year of my life, all I feel right now is relief.

Oh, and yesterday was the first totally needle-free day I've had since the end of OCTOBER. That's a huge relief too.

Today I'm 8w4d if you count from retrieval day, or 8w6d if you count from trigger day (which is how my clinic counts it). First OB appointment next week.

*****

My cycle records had a more complete accounting of the embryos than the report I got a few weeks ago. So now I know: From 22 eggs, 15 of which fertilized, we had a whopping 10 blasts on day 5, 9 expanded and 1 cavitating. No wonder the doctor who did my transfer wanted to be certain we didn't want to freeze.

I asked my husband if he wanted to know, and he said no, which was a wise move on his part. I think he would have had a really hard time knowing we discarded 9 potentially viable embryos.

I guess it all worked out for the best in the end. Even if only half of those had made it to freeze, I have no idea what we would have done with 4 or 5 frozen embryos. Maybe two years from now I'll get baby fever again (HAHAHAHAHAHA) and regret not having the option for #3, but we can only work with what's in front of us right now.