Where everybody knows your name
"Um, yes," I said. "Five years ago."
"I knew I see you before!" she said triumphantly. "I never forget!"
"Well, I've also been coming here for a few months trying for number 2," I said, not adding, So maybe I look familiar to you because I've been in this office every other day, two weeks out of every month, for the last six months.
"Second one always go faster," she assured me. I told her, "Actually, the first one went a lot faster for me. This one is taking much longer." Funny enough, she didn't have much more to say to me after that.
They kept me at 75 IU over the weekend; this morning I had a few lead follicles around 18-19 mm and a couple much smaller ones. Dr. SF pondered the numbers, saying, "If this were your first cycle I'd definitely stop you here, but seeing as it's not" (it is SO not, I thought to myself) "I might give it one more day. We'll see how your E2 looks, if it's over 1000 we'll trigger tonight but if it's under 1000 we'll give it another push."
Must have been under 1000 because I was just instructed to take 75 IU again tonight, trigger tomorrow, IUI Thursday. That puts me at 10dpiui, when I always seem to know one way or the other, on...Father's Day! Great timing! Sigh.
The thing is, as bad-attitude as I know I sound, I can't seem to keep Hope, that feisty bitch, from rearing her perky head. Since I had a Memorial Day weekend IUI on the cycle I got pregnant with Bat Girl, I have a pretty good idea when a baby conceived this cycle would be due, without so much as counting on my fingers or consulting a due-date calculator. I can picture what the weather would be like as I walk my theoretical future baby through the park, or bring him/her with me when I pick BG up from school. And, God help me, I can even picture the sappy HPT commercial scene where I show the test to my husband and whisper, "Happy Father's Day!" Gag.
I know I will manage to go on if this doesn't work. I know because I have done it many times before. But I will still be devastated.