Brain dump
I have about a million posts that I've written in my head but that doesn't do you all much good, does it? So in lieu of actually composing said posts, which would take time I don't seem to have, I'm going to throw up whatever I can think of in bullet points.
• We met with a lawyer to make our wills. Also with a new financial planner. I AM SO OLD.
• Bat Girl is vocalizing tons, "mamamamama" and "dadadadada" and "babababa" and "gegegegege" and enjoying making weird gasping noises and blowing raspberries for fun. Question: I know it's too early for her to actually be saying her first words (eight months next week--holy shit!), but at what point can I safely assume that when she says "mamamama" (or, actually, "mehmehmehmeh") in proximity to me that she actually means "Mama"? A couple of times this week she has launched herself at me while saying "mamamama", but she has also yelled it as apparent code for "Get me out of this frigging high chair NOW, woman!", and also murmured it lovingly to the couch cushion, so I'm thinking not yet. She has said what sounds like "kitty" a couplel times but I'm pretty positive it was just a coincidence.
• Mommies suck, part 1: A couple of weeks ago, my husband was at the playground with BG. Playground was more crowded than usual because school was out for the holidays. BG usually has the sandbox to herself (I know! My baby plays in the sandbox! Though in this case I think "plays" means "eats sand") but that day there were a bunch of little boys, who started throwing handfuls of sand. One handful hit BG in the back of the head. My husband said to the boys, in a totally laidback way, "Hey, take it easy, there's a baby right behind you." One of the mothers gave him a withering look and said, "We don't do that here." Meaning, reprimand someone else's child. Now, come on. Even if that's really a local playground "rule" (which friends with older kids have assured us it's not), aren't there a million nicer ways this mom could have communicated that? PS: After the Incident, my husband said that all the other moms were distinctly colder to him, so he packed up the girl and went home. Ugh.
• Mommies suck, part 2: I got snubbed in the park by a group of stay-at-home moms--some of whom I KNOW and talk to every Saturday at the local farmer's market. They were having a birthday party not ten feet away from where BG and I sat on our lonely little blanket, and not one of them said hello or even acknowledged our presence. I didn't want to join the party, but a simple hello would have been nice. Why is it so hard to break through the stupid cliques? I know I'm not the only one with this problem. I feel like I'm that geeky girl in high school all over again. I do have a small group of mothers in the neighborhood who I get together with occasionally (our babies are all within 2 months of each other and we sort of came together while we were all on maternity leave) but most of my attempts to befriend other parents have been unsuccessful. I think I'm pretty friendly--I'm always commenting on people's cute babies or stopping to ask them about their cool sling or stroller toy--and there are lots of opportunities to meet people in our 'hood (see: farmer's market) but it just feels like there are these "in" groups that I'm not invited to. My husband, as a rare SAHD in a sea of moms, hasn't fared much better, but then again he's not especially interested in joining a mommy group. ;)
• We were going to sign BG up for a music class, which I thought would also be a nice opportunity to meet other parents. We actually took her to one of the free demo classes and she LOVED it--squealing, laughing, waving her arms, trying to crawl into the teacher's lap, really responding to the music. But...the cat's surgery ended up costing $1700. Yes. SEVENTEEN HUNDRED DOLLARS. So between that and the estate lawyer's fees, cash is a little tight right now. Hopefully we'll be able to do the winter session. (Because right after Christmas is when everyone is always rolling in extra cash!)
• Going to the in-law's this weekend. I so do not want to go. But the ILs are now jealous that we just went to my parents' (even though we saw ILs in JUNE and I hadn't been to my parents' in over a YEAR AND A HALF) so we "have" to go. Husband doesn't want to go either, but it's all about the guilt. It is a giant pain in the ass to pack up and travel with the baby and I hate that all of our vacation time this year is being spent shuttling back and forth to the grandparents. But MIL, as I've mentioned before, is quite ill, and I can't be the horrible bitch who deprived a dying woman of any chance to see her only grandchild. Sigh.
• Last night MIL told me she was having her carpets cleaned and Scotchgarded this morning. Given my chemical phobia, the timing could not be worse. Now I need to figure out how to keep a crawling and cruising baby off the floor for three days. Ha. I think I'm going to try to keep her in the bedrooms, which aren't being cleaned, and if she HAS to be on the freshly chemical-infused living room carpet, I'll put a quilt down or something to form at least a half-hearted barrier. If I'd had more advance notice I would have tried to persuade her to reschedule the appointment, or rescheduled our visit myself, but it was too late. If it was my own mother I would have MADE her cancel, but the MIL thing is always delicate. I think I need to be making a bigger deal about my anti-chemical, anti-plastic leanings--I've been pretty low-key about it because I don't want to freak out the ILs but all that does is result in them doing things like this that freak me out, because they just don't know.
Okay, that's all I've got for now. I'm sure there's even more but BG has been sleeping really crappily lately and I am so tired I think I might have a psychotic break.
• We met with a lawyer to make our wills. Also with a new financial planner. I AM SO OLD.
• Bat Girl is vocalizing tons, "mamamamama" and "dadadadada" and "babababa" and "gegegegege" and enjoying making weird gasping noises and blowing raspberries for fun. Question: I know it's too early for her to actually be saying her first words (eight months next week--holy shit!), but at what point can I safely assume that when she says "mamamama" (or, actually, "mehmehmehmeh") in proximity to me that she actually means "Mama"? A couple of times this week she has launched herself at me while saying "mamamama", but she has also yelled it as apparent code for "Get me out of this frigging high chair NOW, woman!", and also murmured it lovingly to the couch cushion, so I'm thinking not yet. She has said what sounds like "kitty" a couplel times but I'm pretty positive it was just a coincidence.
• Mommies suck, part 1: A couple of weeks ago, my husband was at the playground with BG. Playground was more crowded than usual because school was out for the holidays. BG usually has the sandbox to herself (I know! My baby plays in the sandbox! Though in this case I think "plays" means "eats sand") but that day there were a bunch of little boys, who started throwing handfuls of sand. One handful hit BG in the back of the head. My husband said to the boys, in a totally laidback way, "Hey, take it easy, there's a baby right behind you." One of the mothers gave him a withering look and said, "We don't do that here." Meaning, reprimand someone else's child. Now, come on. Even if that's really a local playground "rule" (which friends with older kids have assured us it's not), aren't there a million nicer ways this mom could have communicated that? PS: After the Incident, my husband said that all the other moms were distinctly colder to him, so he packed up the girl and went home. Ugh.
• Mommies suck, part 2: I got snubbed in the park by a group of stay-at-home moms--some of whom I KNOW and talk to every Saturday at the local farmer's market. They were having a birthday party not ten feet away from where BG and I sat on our lonely little blanket, and not one of them said hello or even acknowledged our presence. I didn't want to join the party, but a simple hello would have been nice. Why is it so hard to break through the stupid cliques? I know I'm not the only one with this problem. I feel like I'm that geeky girl in high school all over again. I do have a small group of mothers in the neighborhood who I get together with occasionally (our babies are all within 2 months of each other and we sort of came together while we were all on maternity leave) but most of my attempts to befriend other parents have been unsuccessful. I think I'm pretty friendly--I'm always commenting on people's cute babies or stopping to ask them about their cool sling or stroller toy--and there are lots of opportunities to meet people in our 'hood (see: farmer's market) but it just feels like there are these "in" groups that I'm not invited to. My husband, as a rare SAHD in a sea of moms, hasn't fared much better, but then again he's not especially interested in joining a mommy group. ;)
• We were going to sign BG up for a music class, which I thought would also be a nice opportunity to meet other parents. We actually took her to one of the free demo classes and she LOVED it--squealing, laughing, waving her arms, trying to crawl into the teacher's lap, really responding to the music. But...the cat's surgery ended up costing $1700. Yes. SEVENTEEN HUNDRED DOLLARS. So between that and the estate lawyer's fees, cash is a little tight right now. Hopefully we'll be able to do the winter session. (Because right after Christmas is when everyone is always rolling in extra cash!)
• Going to the in-law's this weekend. I so do not want to go. But the ILs are now jealous that we just went to my parents' (even though we saw ILs in JUNE and I hadn't been to my parents' in over a YEAR AND A HALF) so we "have" to go. Husband doesn't want to go either, but it's all about the guilt. It is a giant pain in the ass to pack up and travel with the baby and I hate that all of our vacation time this year is being spent shuttling back and forth to the grandparents. But MIL, as I've mentioned before, is quite ill, and I can't be the horrible bitch who deprived a dying woman of any chance to see her only grandchild. Sigh.
• Last night MIL told me she was having her carpets cleaned and Scotchgarded this morning. Given my chemical phobia, the timing could not be worse. Now I need to figure out how to keep a crawling and cruising baby off the floor for three days. Ha. I think I'm going to try to keep her in the bedrooms, which aren't being cleaned, and if she HAS to be on the freshly chemical-infused living room carpet, I'll put a quilt down or something to form at least a half-hearted barrier. If I'd had more advance notice I would have tried to persuade her to reschedule the appointment, or rescheduled our visit myself, but it was too late. If it was my own mother I would have MADE her cancel, but the MIL thing is always delicate. I think I need to be making a bigger deal about my anti-chemical, anti-plastic leanings--I've been pretty low-key about it because I don't want to freak out the ILs but all that does is result in them doing things like this that freak me out, because they just don't know.
Okay, that's all I've got for now. I'm sure there's even more but BG has been sleeping really crappily lately and I am so tired I think I might have a psychotic break.
posted by electriclady at 11:23 AM
8 Comments:
You guys are very responsible, wrt the will thing. We need to do it, too.
All that stuff with the mommies--that sucks. Why are people so obnoxious?
Sorry about the sleep problems. Always sucks.
I feel you on the carpet. When we had new carpet put in the baby and I escaped for almost a week I was so terrified of the chemicals.
Yeah, I hear you about the mommy stuff. It is very clicky and I was never good at that stuff.
And that sand box incident!! If that was my son I would have been so embarassed and would try to apologize. Sigh...I feel like I need to go to "mommy group" classes to learn all the ins and outs!
I hope the carpet stuff won't be as bad!
I'll bet your MIL is thinking she's being considerate--"my carpets are really clean so the baby won't get anything on her!" But there is the chemical issue. And I completely hear you on the vacation issue. All of ours is always taken up visiting family. Last year for the very first time in P's 2 1/2 years of life, we took 3 days as jus us in Savannah (after we went to Florida and visited family for a couple of days). Our next "vacation" as a family alone will be to go to Ethiopia to get our son. After that, it's anyone's bet.
I would also have been so embarrased if the sand-thrower had been my child! I have reprimanded other children; perfect strangers in the park, even. Particularly the older children who run crazily through the section of the park that's specifically designed for little kids. The other night at a friend's house, she reprimanded P--and my first thought was that I was so happy to have friends who will do it without even thinking about it. I remember my parents doing it to my friends, and their parents doing it to me. Whatever happened to those days?
It is really hard to make friends when you have a baby. It can be so isolating, and if people are completely snubbing you, it's really frustrating also.
Because I haven't hijacked your comments enough (!), I will say that P said his first word at 8 1/2 months. He had been babbling like BG does for a while. One day, he looked at J, who was facing the other way, and said "Dada". He'd done that before, so we didn't think much of it. Since J didn't turn around, he said "Dada!" When J turned around, he very so obviously proud of himself. He hasn't stopped talking since, though it was at least another couple of weeks before I was sure he was really saying Mama to me.
I don't know why the other mothers are snubbing you and your DH - if you lived here I'd definitely be friends with you all. Mother's groups are so bitchy.
How is kitty after surgery?
Sorry that MIL isn't as anti-chemical as you. I think you're only being sensible, not freaking or anything. I avoid taking TBB to MIL's because she smokes and it stinks, even when she makes the effort to air the place out (chemicals are still there, hello!).
Very responsible of you with the wills ... we really need to do that too.
The mommy group stuff sounds awful! I agree with momo that I would be MORTIFIED if my child did that, and I would be thanking your DH for bringing it to my attention, cause sometimes mom's aren't watching that closely. Then I would DEMAND my kid apologize. Ugh. People are so ridiculous it's frustrating.
Seriously, the other mother had the nerve to be so rude? Simply amazing. They wonder why some kids think they are the boss of their parents! Good for your husband.
I bet your in-laws thought they were being very kind to have the carpets and such. You should have your husband fill her in. (Way after the trip of course.)
She knows that you are mama or "MeMeMe" and that Dad is Dadada...My son (9 months almost) will say one or the other appropriatly when we walk in the room. They are smarter that you think some times!
Wow, when Mommies Attack!
I guess I have a lot to learn, but your stories bring back some baaaad middle school memories, that's for sure.
I would be so bummed about the carpet-cleaning too, I'm sorry it's not a situation you can influence. I know you'll figure something clever out though!
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