Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Update: 22w3d

Just saw TheGoodDoc for my usual biweekly appointment and cervix party. I mentioned the bits of mucousy discharge I'd been having, and she had an explanation: Apparently my external os is slightly open, allowing some mucous to escape. Also, my cervix is measuring ever-so-slightly shorter (3.06 cm). Also, the baby is quite low (TheGoodDoc located the heartbeat way down near my groin). Also, I've been having more trouble lately distinguishing between a true contraction and the baby's butt sticking out (I have some unmistakable, slightly painful contractions, but also lots of smaller hardenings)--my uterus was kind enough to generate one of the smaller hardenings while I was on the exam table, and TheGoodDoc said it was definitely a contraction, too.

So: I am to monitor my contractions very carefully and call if there are 5-6 or more an hour. I am to take it VERY easy, continue my magnesium supplements (which, to be honest, I've been sort of lackadaisical about), and drink tons of fluids. I am to come back in one week for another cervix check and fetal fibronectin swab. She may have me use a home monitor to keep tabs on contractions, if my insurance will approve it.

Well, fuck me. I am hoping that the cervical changes are a result of overdoing it a little over the weekend--I did a load of laundry and some dusting on Saturday; went to a friend's house for brunch on Sunday and had a dinner party on Sunday night; and had a big event for work yesterday which was stressful, even though I sat most of the time. It's just so frustrating--I thought I was doing really well, and was making plans for furniture shopping and other exciting out-of-the-house adventures. And now, not so much.

It's hard too because the past couple of weeks have been kind of weird for me, emotionally. I haven't written about it because I haven't been able to process it or put it into words, but it's things like: Two weekends ago, I started our registry--online, of course--and had a total meltdown over, I kid you not, the color of the baby's sheets. As in, it precipitated this whole crisis of, am I the kind of person who decorates her little girl's room in pink, and what does that say about me, and how can I register for sheets anyway when I can't even tell what color they really are on the frigging computer screen, etc. Like, what is wrong with me? And around the same time I was sending in my hospital pre-registration forms, and signing up for childbirth classes, which was its own little stress-fest--because of our various work schedules, the only time my husband and I can both attend a class is on the weekends, and the only weekend class the hospital had open was in late January, way too close to my Feb. due date for my comfort level, so I had to track down an independent class for December. All these things happening that should have been fun and exciting, but were making me a basket case--because it made the whole baby thing too real? I don't know. Add to that some unexpected financial setbacks and I'm really only staying sane by doing the mental equivalent of plugging my ears and singing "LA LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU."

8 Comments:

Anonymous Erin said...

Keeping my fingers crossed that BatGirl remains where she's supposed to stay for a good long while yet. It sounds very scary and stressful, not to mention frustrating.

4:47 PM  
Blogger sube said...

Of course it's frustrating. This isn't the way the fairy tale was supposed to go. You worked hard to get pregnant and you should be able to enjoy it - all of it. Except that you can't because you're constantly worried.

Don't be too hard on yourself. And remember you've got lots of hormones raging around in there. You're allowed to lose it every once in a while.

1:33 AM  
Anonymous Mollywogger said...

Jeez.

Hang in there, lady.

Also: yes, I'll do your meme. I'm just taking a while getting around to doing it.

9:21 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

I think the meltdowns are normal. I actually thought the same thing when I was planning a pink room for my daughter and I was also worried about what shade of pink that the polka dots in the sheets were and how I would choose the correct shade of pink for the walls when I can't actually compare the paint samples to something on a computer screen.

I hope that you find an independant class without much trouble and that your contractions become less frequent. Tell Bat Girl to sit back and relax until your due date.

11:07 AM  
Blogger Alli said...

OMG, of course you are stressed! You have a lot going on, not to mention the fact that, hello, you are pregnant!

Hope things calm down for you soon. Call and see if the company can send you a swatch of the sheets. I like the idea of a pink nursery.

{{hugs}}

12:07 PM  
Blogger kate said...

Hi, Fellow UUer here that found your blog by accident ;) Just wanted to thank you for sharing your story and making me hopeful that my first IUI in a few weeks will be the answer to our prayers! Best of luck to you... I look forward to following your progress.

11:24 AM  
Blogger Ornery said...

It's so frustrating to feel energetic and contraction-free one minute, and then get all crampy and scared the next. I'm thinking of you, and sending lots of "Stick around, batgirl!" vibes to your little one.

Oh, and as for the emotional roller coaster, I am so there with you, sister! Especially these past few weeks, I've gone all nutty over the silliest things, like where to put the crib, and the fact that the changing table cover doesn't match the crib sheets (which is something I normally wouldn't give a rat's ass about). Poor husband has no idea what to do with me.

1:31 PM  
Anonymous LisaGray said...

From what I've been told, all of your "craziness" sounds pretty normal. After all, it's all about the hormones. Hang in there and try to breathe!

2:49 PM  

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