Monday, March 27, 2006

Canceled. Again.

You know what's even better than getting sucky news? Getting up at 6 a.m. to make it to the clinic by 7:30, then waiting for an hour and a half, then getting sucky news. That's awesome.

US this morning showed a single 15 mm follicle. On the left side. Where I have no fallopian tube. Fuuuuuuck.

Dr. S. says that, given that my response to Clomid has not been so outstanding, he'd recommend trying very low dose injectibles--very very low dose, to try to get just one follicle. Either that or go straight to IVF, with single embryo transfer. He wants me and my husband to come in for a follow-up so we can discuss all the options at length, without being rushed like in an early morning monitoring appointment.

I don't really know what to think or feel. I need to do more research on injectibles before I can feel comfortable with that option, considering that with my uterus, we need to avoid multiples at all costs. On the other hand, I always knew that IVF was in the cards, was an option out there--but I always thought of it as a last resort. I thought there would be a lot more options to exhaust before I got there. Even though, in a sick way, I've experienced "IVF envy"--the feeling that women going through IVF are the "real" infertiles, that I'm just playing at IF somehow--now that IVF suddenly looms much closer, I'm terrified.

I also have a consultation with Clinic B this week and Clinic C two weeks from today. So I suppose I'll see what they say, too, and then make some kind of decision. Somehow.


Blogger Sunnie said...

I'm sorry this cycle was cancelled. I hope you can make the right decision for you and your family as far as IUI or IVF.

8:49 AM  
Blogger Robber Barren said...

I'm so sorry. Getting cancelled is so...deflating.

1:14 PM  
Blogger MsPrufrock said...

I'm sorry to hear the cycle was cancelled. If it makes you feel any better (which I doubt it will), my months on Clomid were pretty much pointless and I just couldn't help but wonder if we should just be moving on anyway.

I always suspected I'd end up doing IVF, but when it finally reached that point it still scared the shit out of me that I had reached "the end".

Best wishes coming to a decision regarding the next step.

12:16 PM  
Anonymous thalia said...

I am the original go straight to IVF girls. I just don't see the point of going through the motions with techniques that don't work very well. BUt that's me. Good luck in all your discussions.

11:41 AM  

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