Friday, September 05, 2008

Nineteen months

My husband called me this morning at 10:30. After dropping Bat Girl off at daycare a little before 9:30, he stood outside the door and listened to her scream "Daddy, Daddy" for an hour before breaking down and going back in to get her. He's really upset and is questioning the whole idea of putting her in daycare--certainly the idea of putting her in fulltime right away.

I'm torn. Obviously it's a huge adjustment for a child who, previous to this, had never spent more than four or five hours with a babysitter, never had a babysitter she didn't know well ahead of time, never been in any childcare setting. I was actually reluctant to put her in daycare, since obviously it was an awesome deal for me to have a stay-at-home spouse and know that I trusted her care 100 percent. My husband was the one who pushed for daycare, since he was feeling worn down by the SAH life and the demands of a toddler, and wanted to get back to work. Now, we're reversed. I loved seeing her play and interact with the other kids when I picked her up the other day, and I think the socialization will be really good for her (especially since my husband is uncomfortable having playdates with the neighborhood mommies). And he's having trouble finding a job that's exactly the right fit, and having a tougher time than he thought letting go of his full-time daddy role.

Any of you put your kid in daycare for the first time as a toddler? (Eva, I think you did, right?) What was the adjustment period like? I'm also going to call and talk to the daycare provider and ask her what she thinks of how BG is doing.


In happier news, BG is 19 months old today. Her language continues to make leaps and bounds, as does her "singing" (I put it quotes because thus far she doesn't really carry a tune). She likes to sing a song we learned from watching "Little Bear" (she sings the lines first, then I repeat them) and she sings a rough phonetic version of her ABCs and "Row Row Row Your Boat." And she's been expressing longer sentence-like strings, too:

Sung as we lie in bed together: "Get up, get up, everybody geeeeet uuuuup." (I think this is a song they sing at daycare to herald the end of naptime.)

Crooned to herself while she colors: "We're all going Seattle." When I ask her, "Did you just say that we're all going to Seattle?" she answers, "Yep. Sure" which is the latest evolution in assent for her, from "Yes" to "Yeah" and now "Yep, sure" which is freaking hilarious.

When I finally go in to get her out of her crib one morning after she yells, "Mommy, change diaper!" she thumps her chest and proclaims: "This baby poop."

After I hand her some Mardi Gras beads: "Here's my pitty necklace."

She's been doing more imaginative play too. After showing no interest in her baby doll for months (beyond taking all the doll's clothes off), she's been putting the doll in her car seat and "taking her for a ride" (rocking the car seat back and forth), giving the doll a bottle, pretending to tuck me in and making me pretend to yawn and fall asleep (this is my favorite game, obviously), making "vroom, vroom!" noises while she runs her cars around the living room.

She's definitely in the toddler picky-eating stage, complete with dramatic refusals of rejected food. The best is when you offer her, say, a little cup filled with blueberries, and she screams "NO!!!" and swipes at the cup with her arm so that blueberries go flying everywhere. Then she picks up the three berries that landed on her high chair tray, eats them, and says "Mmm! More booberries!"

Crazy kid.


Blogger Aunt Becky said...

I didn't put either of the boys into daycare as toddlers (Ben started preschool at 3) but I can only imagine how difficult it would be to handle with Alex (who is much clingier than Ben was).

Happy 19 months, BG. Sounds like you understand dolls better than Alex. Who likes to pick up Ben's doll by the eye sockets.

4:58 PM  
Blogger statia said...

As much as I like being his primary caregiver, I can understand how wearing it is. I often wonder if he would have turned out differently had we put him in daycare.

I have to say, even though she's a full month older, the Mini shows now signs of any of the stuff that BG is doing. And I know that boys develop later, but it breaks my heart that he may never do those things. He just seems so.... behind, or missing the boat somehow.

6:20 PM  
Blogger MsPrufrock said...

It's not the same situation of course as P has been at nursery full-time since she was 13 months old, but she has had some difficulty re-adjusting to it lately. As my husband teaches he has summers off, so she has spent six weeks with one or both of us. She's gradually getting better, but it's quite a slow process.

I love your updates on BG's verbal skills. Hot damn that kid is smart. I also feel that if she and P got together we would find ourselves in a sea of endless, inane babble.

6:42 PM  
Blogger Eva said...

Yes, I did put my little girl into (in-home, part-time) daycare as a toddler (one year old). And the adjustment was okay. Until the one week I suddenly had her go full-time. That week she flipped the fuck out and the report from the daycare lady was "well, she didn't cry the WHOLE time" and when I would come pick her up, she'd burst into tears, cling to me, and frantically tell everyone there "bye bye." So I didn't take her back for three months. And now she's back part-time and enjoying the heck out of it, from what I can tell.

Basically, um, ease into it, if you can, and less than full-time, if you can, and work up to it. That's my advice. It's a big transition for a small person. And for you guys.

9:31 PM  
Blogger MoMo said...

B was in 2 different daycare before we decided to get a nanny. He was really young then so there was no separation issue. From talking with other mom's, what BG is going thru is normal-it is a lot of changes for her. When I put B into daycare, we had a few trial days. We brought him in a couple of hours a day the first few weeks before putting him in for the full day. Maybe you can try this with BG. Try easing her into it. Make the days shorter-or putting her in 3 days vs. 5 to get her used to the idea. I think as she gets older, she will get used to it and make friends and actually look forward to daycare.

BG is awesome...she is so smart!!!

10:14 PM  
Blogger sara said...

Happy 19 months BG!

10:53 PM  
Blogger Isabel said...

the blueberries... hilarious.

10:43 PM  
Blogger shanna said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

10:56 PM  
Blogger shanna said...

I read my husband your BatGirl blueberries story, and he responded: "Is that my daughter? Sure sounds it."

statia - I've been following along on your blog, so I know the Mini has issues that seriously concern you. BUT - my kids are a couple of weeks older than BatGirl, and they don't seem to be quite at her level yet either (not even my daughter, for whatever that whole boy/girl thing is worth). We've been given no indication that they are "behind,": and I have no gut feeling about it either. For...whatever that's worth to you. I think BG may just be really, really advanced. :)

11:00 PM  
Anonymous Kath said...

Dear Electriclady, I have no insights to offer on daycare, but I can imagine how tough that situation is for both of you right now.

And Bat Girl is so advanced and so cute, she's putting a huge smile on my face. I love her verbal skills!

4:41 AM  
Anonymous Doll Clothes Gal said...

Hi - first time visiting - I love your blog.

I put my daughter into day care and although it was tough I htink it really help to build her charater.

11:14 AM  
Blogger caramama said...

I just love these cute toddler stories! She sounds like such an amazing supergenius!! Yep, sure. hehe.

Sorry about the difficult drop offs. We aren't doing daycare yet, but I'm nervous just hearing about others' tribulations.

3:08 PM  

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