Call me a nerd
I don't care. I mean, I do care, but I will still be watching every minute of the Olympics that my cranky toddler allows me. Not because I'm particularly patriotic--I root for whoever I feel like, not just U.S. athletes, and I'm a little embarrassed that NBC convinced the organizers to hold the most anticipated medal events at a time when they could be broadcast live during prime time in the U.S. (So all of Europe and Africa and swaths of Asia now have to stay up into the wee hours to watch these events live, just so McD0nald's can try to sell me and my neighbors more S0uthern Ch!cken S@ndwiches?)
But I just plain love it. I love seeing the swimming events and pretending that two years on my high school team make me an expert in swimming mechanics and strategy. I love rooting for the plucky underdog athlete who's his/her country's first serious medal contender in a generation. I love feeling pride in the South Korean wins, even though I've never lived there. I love the apprehensive pit I get in my stomach watching the inhuman things those gymnasts do with their bodies, waiting for someone to fall or break something. I even love the ritualistic bashing of the sick system that creates those gymnasts and their crazy tiny bodies, and I love making fun of the syrupy "portraits of courage" NBC shoves down our throats. I love Tim Daggett and Elfi Schlegel and Rowdy Gaines.
Of course, this will be my first Olympics where I can't just park on the couch for two weeks and ignore the rest of my life. Or can I? Do you think that watching platform diving and fencing and tae kwon do and shot put are educational for a 1-year-old?
ETA: See, this is the shit I live for. How can you not love that?