Bad mommy
We were having a pretty good weekend, at first. Went to music class, where Bat Girl was her usual spunky, spirited self, and where another mom complimented me on how well-dressed BG is. Went to a first birthday party, where other parents remarked on BG's "cool personality" and on what an impressive walker she is and how energetic and inquisitive she is. So I was feeling like a pretty awesome mom, never mind the fact that none of these things is due to any excellence in parenting on my part. (Well, I guess I can take partial credit for how nicely I pair her hand-me-downs with Old Navy jeans.) That was Saturday.
Then on Sunday, I dropped Bat Girl on her head.
Okay, technically I merely dropped her, and her forehead HAPPENED to strike the top of the metal gate keeping her out of the kitchen, and then she HAPPENED to continue falling until she landed facedown on the floor with a sickening thud. And then there was that moment of silence before she started screaming when I thought, "Dear god, I killed my baby." And then the screaming, and the screaming, and the huge black and blue lump that immediately appeared on her forehead, and the attempted icing of said black and blue lump (do you know how hard it is to ice a toddler's forehead? we were only able to do it with the serious application of Blue's Clues*, and even then she kept trying to pull away and shove the icepack off because DAMMIT WOMAN I CAN'T SEE THE CLUES WITH THAT THING IN MY FACE!). And the googling of "baby concussion symptoms," and the flashbacks where I keep seeing her slip out of my arms, do a spiraling half-twist in the air, and plummet to the parquet.
But we're all fine now, really. The ice seems to have worked and the mark is hardly noticeable today. BG hasn't been vomiting or having seizures or walking funny or anything, and she was back to her regular cheerful (interspersed with screaming due to THE BOOK WON'T COME OFF THE SHELF FAST ENOUGH or THE SKWISH WON'T FIT INTO THIS BOX WHERE IT IS CLEARLY NOT DESIGNED TO FIT BUT I MUST MAKE IT FIT, because come on, she's a toddler) self pretty quickly. And I'm sure a head of white hair will look very stylish with my "World's Worst Mother" badge, right?
*Yes, she watches TV. Blue, and also the baby crack known as Yo Gabba Gabba. In fact, she will walk up to me, hand me the remote, and demand "Bwoo!" I'm telling ya, Mother of the Year over here.
Then on Sunday, I dropped Bat Girl on her head.
Okay, technically I merely dropped her, and her forehead HAPPENED to strike the top of the metal gate keeping her out of the kitchen, and then she HAPPENED to continue falling until she landed facedown on the floor with a sickening thud. And then there was that moment of silence before she started screaming when I thought, "Dear god, I killed my baby." And then the screaming, and the screaming, and the huge black and blue lump that immediately appeared on her forehead, and the attempted icing of said black and blue lump (do you know how hard it is to ice a toddler's forehead? we were only able to do it with the serious application of Blue's Clues*, and even then she kept trying to pull away and shove the icepack off because DAMMIT WOMAN I CAN'T SEE THE CLUES WITH THAT THING IN MY FACE!). And the googling of "baby concussion symptoms," and the flashbacks where I keep seeing her slip out of my arms, do a spiraling half-twist in the air, and plummet to the parquet.
But we're all fine now, really. The ice seems to have worked and the mark is hardly noticeable today. BG hasn't been vomiting or having seizures or walking funny or anything, and she was back to her regular cheerful (interspersed with screaming due to THE BOOK WON'T COME OFF THE SHELF FAST ENOUGH or THE SKWISH WON'T FIT INTO THIS BOX WHERE IT IS CLEARLY NOT DESIGNED TO FIT BUT I MUST MAKE IT FIT, because come on, she's a toddler) self pretty quickly. And I'm sure a head of white hair will look very stylish with my "World's Worst Mother" badge, right?
*Yes, she watches TV. Blue, and also the baby crack known as Yo Gabba Gabba. In fact, she will walk up to me, hand me the remote, and demand "Bwoo!" I'm telling ya, Mother of the Year over here.
Labels: Bat Girl, mama drama
posted by electriclady at 3:02 PM
8 Comments:
I don't know... if you made it this long without dropping your kid, I think you're doing pretty well.
The first time I dropped D (yes, the FIRST time) I was going down the stairs.
I think white hair is very becoming, myself.
Oh, I've dropped her before, just not quite so...dramatically.
My husband has dropped her (and let her roll off the bed, and/or been present when she has fallen and hurt herself) tons of times--he's the stay-at-home parent, so it's just a matter of odds--so I think his main emotion at this event was relief that at least this time it wasn't his fault.
Those thuds are enough to make my asshole pucker and stay that way for an undetermined amount of time.
The Meester is the resident concussion checker (as he's the expert on having had them regularly as a child).
Mine doesn't ask to do anything, which makes me feel as if I'm failing him, but if I mention signing time or manah manah, I swear, I don't think I've ever seen a baby move so fast.
I know precisely what you mean about replaying it over and over in your head. I've been known to do that fairly often.
Alex has taken up a nasty habit of biting his lips (with no teeth, mind you) when he smacks his face into the ground (he's not walking, just crawling), and it sucks. Good thing I dye my hair, or I'd be shock white by now.
The last time I checked I have a few grey hair and they keep coming!! I've accepted that bumps and bruises are just part parenting. A few months ago I slipped down the stairs while holding B--he must have cried for about 10 to 15 minutes before we were able to calm him down!!
Most of the times I have banged P's head on something were when she was young. As in, soft, malleable skull young. At least now her head is like a rock. I feel soooo much better about dropping on her head now. Heh.
I'm glad to hear that she's doing alright.
I' also glad to know that I'm not the only one raising a tyrant. Zack with scream bloody murder if something doesn't go his way. It's a good thing we don't have neighbors!!
i knocked my dd in the head with the door last week...i didn't know she was crawling towards the door after it swung shut and i opened it and bonked her head...i felt horrible! and she watched the playhouse disney crowd everyday.
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