Thursday, May 04, 2006

Killing time

For the first time in a very long time, there is really zero chance I could be pregnant this cycle. We did not manage to have sex over the weekend, as urged by Dr. SF. My husband's sister was staying with us, and given the size of a Big City apartment, the presence of blood relatives is definitely a damper on feeling amorous. And though I suppose I could have insisted that we give it a whirl, I really didn't feel like having silent, "don't let the bed squeak!", Forced Death March (tm someone, I can't remember who--maybe Kath?) sex when there's only, like, a 0.5% chance it would work anyway.

It's oddly relaxing, knowing there's no way in hell I could be knocked up. No need to obsess over symptoms, or take my temperature, or anything. Just wait for my period to arrive--due on or around Mother's Day! Fun!

My husband went out of town Sunday morning, and will be returning this weekend. I think this is the longest we've been apart since we've been married. Here's a little of how I've amused myself during this week of single living:

• Working--or trying, anyway. It's so beautiful out today, it's hard to concentrate.

• Playing the "ovulation or constipation?" guessing game, in response to some cramping a little to the left and a couple inches below my belly button, a few days ago. (I've never experienced ovulation pain before, and I must admit that even after two years of IF, I have only a vague idea of where exactly my ovaries are located within my abdomen.)

• Watching hour upon hour of estrogen-heavy TV--Gilmore Girls, Sex and the City, etc. I love DVR.

• Enjoying various non-pregnant treats, including but not limited to: allergy medication, self-tanner, raw milk cheese, at-home facial peels, margaritas, ordering bikinis online (though it now occurs to me that the latter may not be such a good idea, given that my belly will likely be bruised from injections all summer long...hmmm...)

• Reading back through posts from women with UU on the MA Yahoo support group (link on my homepage sidebar). Some of them have successfully gotten pregnant with singletons from injectibles/IUI, so that made me feel a little less like I'm wasting my time. At the very least, I think, doing Follistim this cycle will be practice for doing IVF--a baby step.

• Cultivating Zen acceptance upon hearing that another one of my coworkers is pregnant. Yes, another one--that makes two coworkers and one friend in two weeks, and a grand total of 24 friends/relatives/coworkers of mine giving birth or gestating since last August. You know how sometimes, fertile people get really uncomfortable talking about or hearing about infertility, like it's catching or something? They shouldn't be worried--clearly it's just the opposite. Really, we should be hiring ourselves out as fertility charms. I can see the Cra!gsl!st post now:
Want to get pregnant? Be my friend! I will attract all the infertility energy within a ten-mile radius, leaving nothing but babydust and sticky vibes for you! You will be pregnant in three months or less or your money back! Rates start at $1000/month (hey, how else am I going to pay for IVF?). Extra charges for squealing at your pregnancy announcement, listening to you talk about how it "only took once!", or shopping for maternity clothes.


Seriously, girls. Think about it. This could be a big money maker for us!

12 Comments:

Blogger MoMo said...

Electriclady, I especially like the margaritas and bikinis..I think you can still put them to good use...so far I have no bruising and this is from a girl who is taking 3 shots a day! I also love your idea of fertility charms! I think you are right..we can make a lot of money from this!

4:53 PM  
Blogger Ornery said...

I think you're onto a brilliant idea there. Of course, I'd have to spend all the money I make on the extra therapy sessions required to maintain my sanity, but I still think it holds a lot of promise!

5:47 PM  
Blogger Robber Barren said...

That's a lucrative business plan you've got there. Should we all go in on it together so we can pool marketing resources? Will it be a franchise-run operation?

6:29 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

Readily available as a lightening rod for all those around me who want to get pregnant - my friends stand around me for an hour and 2 weeks later they are pregnant. Plus I need the money to pay for treatment. Brilliant idea!

7:23 PM  
Anonymous Kath said...

Nope, the Death March sex thing, sadly, wasn't me -- my only contribution to the lingo so far has been the Docking Station of Death.

Ovulation or Constipation is one of my favorite games! Hours of fun!

Twenty-four pregnancies in your inner circle? Gulp. The horror! Yes, I agree you should at least make a pile of money off that.

[By the way, to answer your question on my blog, I do visit the Müllerian Anomalies board. It just seems as if most people have doctors who are keen to check the post-op state of play, and mine all wave me off for some reason. Nobody wants to go in.)

4:53 AM  
Blogger Thalia said...

I LOVE the idea of hiring ourselves out as fertility charms. There's got to be a money-making idea in the midst of this pain, somewhere.

8:27 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

I think you've got a pretty good money making strategy there!! One of my good friends was trying and thought she was having trouble (3 months... yeah right) but as soon as she told me she was getting concerned because last time it was on the first try, she was pregnant. And me... yeah, not so much!!

4:41 PM  
Anonymous Alexa said...

Excellent idea! Perhaps I can make enough to pay for IVF.
I am doing a lot of the things on your list as well, as we are definitely not trying this cycle (we want to see what my progesterone is doing post Met first). MMMM...sashimi!

11:41 AM  
Blogger ak1908 said...

This is my first time on your blog. I came here as a link from Momo's blog. You are hilarious. Sorry, about the SIL blocking bding:) It sounds like you are having a blast being able to do all the girlie stuff. I think you're on to something with charging to attract all of the infertile energy:) Enjoy your free time.

9:40 PM  
Anonymous Truly Tested said...

it sure does seem that the world around us is getting pregnant every day...I think going with the "best defense is a strong offense" idea makes sense! (if I got that expression right)

11:49 PM  
Anonymous LisaGray said...

Just found your blog. Love it! Very funny, and very true.

5:30 PM  
Blogger K77 said...

PMSL that is a great idea. And you know it'd work too.

8:04 AM  

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