Here we go

I just gave myself my first injection in over 3 years.

It wasn't too bad, actually, especially compared with my very first time. I knew that I needed to ice beforehand, watched the video my clinic has online to refresh myself, had all the swabs and things laid out. I finally wised up that it's watching the damn needle go in that's the worst part, so I pinched, squeezed my eyes shut, then stuck the needle in and pushed down the plunger without opening. For the Gonal-F pen they recommend leaving the needle in for an additional 5 seconds, which I don't remember with Follistim--that part was a little icky, but it was over quickly.

I'm still ambivalent about this cycle. For some reason it took forever for my period to arrive after I took the course of Provera, so I had lots of time to think about it. Naturally, my freelance work has really picked up in the last couple of weeks--I had a meeting yesterday about a great new consulting project--and I have not one, not two, but THREE potential full-time jobs at various stages of the application/interview process. Today I had a phone interview for what might just be my dream job (not sure how I did--hard to gauge over the phone, with no nonverbal feedback). All this after months and months of no job bites at all. So I have some qualms about getting pregnant right before I might, maybe, possibly, start a new job. On the other hand, I could get no job at all, and then I would be pissed if we'd postponed the cycle for nothing.

Basically I'm just going along with it for now and not making any decisions. We can decide to cancel at any point, and the cycle might not even work out anyway. So I'm not going to freak out too much about the possibilities until there's something to freak out about.