Thursday, October 06, 2011

Quiet

I've been feeling very quiet about this cycle, and I guess last cycle too. I've spent 371 posts (at last count) and thousands and thousands of words documenting in painful detail everything about my IF, my pregnancy, my breastfeeding struggles, my IF again, every injection of every cycle. And now that things are getting serious, I've withdrawn. Pulled inside myself, not feeling the desire to put it all out there.

I think I just haven't had the desire to examine this--this, what's going on right now, the reality of heading into IVF--all that closely. I'm taking it day by day.

Anyway, here's what's happening. We had our appointment, had many tubes of blood drawn, I had some cultures taken and my husband had another SA. I asked Dr. SF about the possibility of getting our transfer canceled due to OHSS (my big worry) and he said that while of course it's always a possibility, especially with PCOS, the fact that we're doing a low-stim cycle should reduce the risk. He also said that because they monitor so closely at this clinic, it's very very rare that they ever cancel a transfer due to OHSS. But, he said, if we did not want to sign a consent for cryopreservation, we could change our minds if this unlikely scenario came up--we would just have to come back in and re-sign the forms.

Then it was form time. We signed "DO NOT CONSENT" for cryopreservation, assisted hatching, and ICSI. Basically we just consented to the IVF itself. I was kind of annoyed with our nurse--she was a little disorganized (very unusual for our clinic) and was asking me questions and contradicting herself about stuff we had discussed less than a week earlier on the phone. When I finally told her, "We actually already talked about this on Friday," she was all, oh, sorry, I talk to so many people, but I thought, uh, yeah, but why not WRITE THINGS DOWN in that fancy computer system?

Anyway, I started the pill last week. I'll be on it for 3 weeks. I'll be on letrozole the 24th through 30th, then start injections the 31st. Retrieval probably around the first weekend of November.

Dr. SF called me back this week to strongly urge that we sign the AH consents. He warned that if we ended up having to do a day 3 transfer (rather than day 5 as would be ideal), AH would give a much better chance of implantation. But AH and ICSI are both dealbreakers for my husband, so we didn't even consider it. It's true that we are making choices that reduce our chance of success. But we're doing it with open eyes.

Birth announcements, pregnancy announcements (and yes, they were real announcements--that stupid breast cancer meme didn't make it onto my newsfeed at all, thank goodness) keep pouring in. I snickered when we were sitting in our clinic waiting room and saw the flyers for an upcoming support group, with the title in huge colorful letters: EVERYWHERE I LOOK I SEE PREGNANT WOMEN.

Ah, another disjointed post. Sorry. I've got a lot going on at work right now too, but I'm trying to compartmentalize it. Head down. Get it done.

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1 Comments:

Blogger Jody said...

Quiet is fine, of course. I mean, it's good to hear what's going on, but quiet is really okay.

Sounds like Thanksgiving could be the very best or worst of times.

11:08 PM  

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