Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Ugh

Called my RE's office this morning to schedule a Day 2 ultrasound (period arrived last night in full force). I was transferred to a nurse, who looked up my file and said she would need to check with Dr. S to see if he wanted to wait until my MRI results were in before proceeding with another cycle. I pointed out that this would mean waiting another month, at least. But whatever, fine, check with the doctor and call me back.

That was 10 am. By 3:30 I still hadn't heard back, and I called and left a message on the nurses's line. I finally got a call back at 6:45, when I was standing in the Baking and Spices aisle at Whole Foods. Luckily, it was my favorite nurse this time, the only one who actually calls back when she says she will. (The nurse from the morning never calls back.)

Long story short: Dr. S. wants to wait until the MRI results are back, then we'll schedule a followup. "But that means I'll need to wait at least another month before going ahead with anything else," I said--being as specific as I can without screaming PERIOD and OVULATION to all the Whole Foods holiday shoppers. And as forcefully and as calmly as I can while welling up--I actually think being in public helped me maintain control here--I say, "Look, I know this is not personally your fault, but I would have had the MRI done by now if your office hadn't screwed up getting the preapproval. I had it scheduled for Monday, but I had to reschedule for Friday because they didn't get the preapproval when I asked for it." Nice Nurse apologizes and says she will make sure to call Monday for my MRI results.

"You'll call?" I say. "And you'll follow up with me, or do I need to follow up? Because I have to be honest, I'm feeling kind of left out in the cold here. I haven't spoken to Dr. S. in three weeks, he never called to follow up after my last round of tests, and I'm losing a whole month because your office couldn't get it together for the preapproval." I was so proud of myself for being able to say that. Nice Nurse promises that she will leave my file on her desk so that she is sure to remember to follow up on the MRI results, and she will call me personally to schedule a followup with Dr. S.

And that's where we left it. I'm not sure what to do next. Obviously I'm not being treated this cycle. My husband pointed out that we can still try on our own, but between the screwy periods and the half a uterus, I'm losing faith in my body to get this done on its own (what little faith I might have had). I'm pissed that my doctor is taking such a laissez-faire attitude toward my treatment--we STILL haven't heard from him re: my husband's semen analysis, not to mention the fact that he never bothered to call me after my HSG results came in, leaving me to get the news about my unicornuate uterus from a doctor I'd never met before, minutes after learning that I'd ovulated on my own, early, and it was too late to even try to get pregnant this cycle. And I'm pissed that I'm losing a month--minimum; I'm assuming I'll have my usual long (when unmedicated) cycle and, even if nudged by Provera, I won't get my period until mid- to late-January--all because someone was too lazy to make one stupid phone call to get the preapproval on time.

My husband thinks we should find a new doctor. I'm leaning that way too, I guess. I'll wait and see what Dr. S. says when we see him for my followup--my husband is coming along this time, for moral support and to get pissed off if necessary. The thing is, I don't know what Dr. S. can say or do to make up for what's happened in the past two weeks, the symphony of screw-ups that's landed on me. But I feel like if he says it's worth trying another few Letrozole cycles, or even injectibles, it might be worth staying with him, at least for now--I don't feel like he would really do anything there much differently from another doctor (besides, hopefully, not missing my ovulation this time!), and the convenience of location, a 2-minute walk from my office, counts for a lot with all the monitoring. On the other hand, if he's of the opinion that we should go straight to IVF (because of lack of one fallopian tube, etc.), then I will definitely go elsewhere. I had already made up my mind long ago that if it ever came to IVF, we would shop around--my insurance only covers up to $10,000 of "advanced fertility treatment" (=IVF and related), so unless we want to try to come up with another $10 or $20K on our own, we basically only have one shot, and I would want to make sure we have the best chances possible. My clinic's success rates are pretty good, but in terms of sheer volume they don't do as many IVF cycles per year as other clinics in the area. And here in Big City, we've got one of the top IVF clinics in the nation, so I'd be a fool not to at least consider going there.

Anyway. MRI this Friday. Until then, all I can do is wait. And fret.

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